What Does It Mean To Be Brave?

         I was talking to a friend today, and she has had her fair share of challenges in life. We were discussing what it means to be brave. People tell others who are going through hard times, "You are so brave." But, are we really? If I had to choose something that required great risk taking, would we even take a risk? Is it brave to actually go through hardships and survive them, or is that just instinct. 

       My friend often has a smile on her face and a skip in her step. She says she has to, "fake it until she makes it." She is dealing with a child with a serious chronic health condition, going back to school full time to become a teacher, and working in an emotionally rewarding but financially draining job; yet still she motivates others around her to want to be better people. What you need to know about people like this is that they are fragile. 

      These "brave" people can weather the storms, navigate the scary information from doctors, take care of their children, and keep a household running. They get the oil changed, take the kids to the dentist, pay the bills (sometimes barely), and even help out others. But lurking just under the surface is a tiny crack, and the smallest thing can break them. Sometimes a blown out light bulb is the thing that causes the break; that one thing they just don't have time for. They're out of paper towels again,  forgot to pay the KUB bill, their kid lost his new jacket, the teacher wants a conference, or a crayon was in the laundry again; these are the simple things that can pile up and overwhelm the brave.

   The next time you think about telling someone they are brave, think about what you really want to say. You could tell them that they way they deal with it seems brave, but you know they must be scared sometimes. You could tell them that you admire the way they exhibit strength to those around them. Tell them you know the situation isn't easy, but you admire their glue.The glue that holds them together. They are holding  it together out of instinct, out of necessity, out of pride. They are holding it together for their families, co-workers, and friends. They are holding it together because you couldn't handle it if they fell apart. Find someone "brave" today and let them know you care. You could check their light bulbs, get their oil changed, fill their tank up, make them dinner, or offer to help them get those crayon stains out of their clothes. Whatever you do, keep supporting them because one day you'll need them beside you when you are trying to be brave.